[4:36] Tara talks about what led her to create the What Works book, a blend of her own personal quest to re-establish her relationship with work and goals, mixed with conversations with people who had all sorts of different relationships to productivity and goals.
[6:08] In the process of Tara’s research for the book, it brought up a deeper conversation of how much culture, family, and upbringing have on our identity, which makes an impact on how we structure our work and the goals we set.
[6:49] We are bombarded by marketing and societal messages that make us feel like we aren’t good enough, or aren’t doing enough.
[7:22] Tara and Charlie discuss why we don’t do the things we really want to do, and why working on teams can be so hard, even though we are primed to work with others.
[12:25] We unpack the validation spiral, and why it’s so common.
[16:21] Externally, one of the ways that we play into the validation spiral is by saying yes to things, taking on projects, and spreading ourselves too thin to do anything impeccably.
[20:23] So many of us are socialized to be the supporting actor when really we can be the lead actor in our own story.
[24:01] Ask yourself: what resources do you need, and where might they come from?
[33:15] When “shoulding” and “supposed to-ing” yourself, get clear and concrete about what exactly you are looking for. Try to get specific about numbers and benchmarks.
[40:15] Why don’t we ask for help before we absolutely need it?
[45:10] Get a support team together before you need the help.
[52:12] As a community, we can learn to break down resistance to ask for help and more openly offer help to others without expecting much in return.
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