Editor’s Note: This is a guest post from Marissa Bracke.
There is a tipping point between being just another struggling entrepreneur and becoming a Big Shot. Those who do well in the transition tend to keep some grounding in the finite (and often fleeting) nature of being the Big Shot. But we’ve all seen the cautionary tales who forget–or just disregard–the reality of being a Big Shot: namely, that it’s a tenuous and limited distinction.
When handled poorly, the leap to Big Shotdom comes with arrogance, a general apathy for the audience that supported the escalation to Big Shotdom, and a tendency to neglect those viewed as “beneath” the new level of Big Shotdom. But when handled well, the leap into Big Shotdom comes with a readiness to experience a bigger reach without attachment to the notoriety, a gratitude toward the supporters, and a wide enough perspective to negate what at first blush seems like a set hierarchy of the people encountered.
Whether you are a Big Shot or one day hope to be a Big Shot, the following four realities apply.
You Weren’t Always A Big Shot
There was a time when you a very small fish in a very big pond. There was a day when you published a blog post and got really excited when you got 15 unique page views. You once aspired to hit double digits on your subscription count. At some point, you Tweeted to a circle of tens of people.
We all start somewhere.
Big Shot Advice: Keep some compassion for those that aren’t Big Shots yet. Don’t forget that segment of your audience, or the challenges they face, just because you’re no longer in the same place with them. And by all means, don’t mock them or ridicule their position. What you might now call naivete was once your own perspective. Keeping your eyes on your growth and goal doesn’t require that you turn a cold shoulder to the place from whence you came–so don’t.
Big Shot To-Be Advice: Don’t give up. Don’t lament your lack of readers or small Twitter circle or disappointing product launch. Or lament it, but realize that it’s nothing that your favorite Big Shot hasn’t also experienced. It’s not a reason to label yourself a loser or to wave your white flag of surrender. It’s a starting point, not a failure. We all start somewhere, including the Big Shots.
You Aren’t the Big(gest) Shot.
No matter how many followers you amass, no matter how many blog readers you’ve got, no matter how many products you sold during your last launch… someone’s always got more followers, a bigger blog readership and product sales that dwarf yours.
And if you double your followers, your blog readership and your product numbers next year, the same thing will still be true.
There is no such thing as the “top of the heap.” There’s always someone who’s a Bigger Shot than you.
Big Shot Advice: Never assume you’ve learned / read / mastered it all. You haven’t. Also, never assume that your success excludes others from succeeding. There is plenty of room for more Big Shots–including those bigger than you.
Big Shot To-Be Advice: Learn from the Big Shots, but remain open to the ideas and lessons that come from other non-Big-Shots. The Big Shots do not have a monopoly on knowledge, wit or brilliance. Also, never assume that someone else being a Big Shot means that you can’t (or shouldn’t) be. There’s plenty of room for more Big Shots.
You Aren’t a Big Shot To Everyone
You know what Charles Dickens, Gandhi, Donald Trump and the vuvuzela have in common? They are fanatically adored by a certain group of people. They are also fanatically despised by another group of people. And by another group of people, they are completely unknown.
You may have a group of readers or customers who turn to you as their guru, and to whom you are the best of the best. But you also have a group of people who will find you dull, or irrelevant, or dislikeable. And you’ll have a huge group of people who won’t even know your (or your business’s) name.
Even when you get to be a Big Shot, your Big Shot-ness is limited to a specific crowd. Outside of that crowd, you may be a really Little Shot. Or you may be a total unknown. If you approach everyone with the attitude of, “Don’t you know who I am?” you have to be equally prepared to hear “Yes, and I LOVE you!” as you are to hear, “No… and why the heck would I want to?” or “Yes, and I can’t stand you.”
Big Shot Advice: Maintain (or get) perspective. All of the reactions mentioned above are simultaneously valid. You don’t have to cater to the people who dislike you or to whom you are irrelevant (and doing so is probably not a great use of your marketing efforts), but remembering they exist helps you keep perspective on just how much of a “Big Shot” you really are. It also helps you remain open to critiques that might prove useful in your continued growth and success.
Big Shot To-Be Advice: Don’t let those who aren’t hearing you or don’t care for you distract you from those that do. Focus on the people who form your core supporters and fans, and spend more time nurturing those connections and conversations than worrying about the people who don’t dig what you do. You’ll never get 100% of the people out there to sing your praises, buy your products or agree with you, and the detractors tend to become more vocal the closer to Big Shotdom you get. Make peace with that.
You Won’t Always Be a Big Shot
Just as there was a day when no one knew your name or Twitter handle, there will be a day when you teeter much closer to the edge of obscurity than to the brink of world renown. You may be in the heyday of your fame and notoriety, but that doesn’t mean you’ll still be there in a decade. Or a year. Or a month.
Big Shotdom is as fleeting as it is elusive. Perhaps moreso: in the era of easy buzz and internet flashmobs, it’s often easier to achieve momentary Big Shotdom than it is to sustain Moderate Shotdom. Traffic will spike and wane, product sales will flourish and trickle, public opinion will flow in your favor and ebb back away again. Today’s trending topic on Twitter is tomorrow’s old news.
Big Shot Advice: Be cavalier only with great caution. Remember that the leeway your Big Shot status buys you is fragile and finite. There will be a day when a cavalier attitude of apathy toward your audience or customers will no longer be excused because of your Big Shotdom. There will eventually be a day when you’re no longer a big enough name to sell products based solely on reputation rather than quality. Be wary of giving yourself too much leeway, even if your audience seems ready to give it.
Big Shot To-Be Advice: Practice maintaining an eagle view of your success path. Don’t get so wrapped up in your daily traffic numbers that you neglect overall traffic trends. Don’t assume that the wild success (or dismal disappointment) of one launch is the sole defining characteristic of your business. There is a long-range view of your goals and definitions of success to consider, and you may realize that being a Big Shot is only a small piece or small timeframe of that bigger vision. If being a Big Shot is your endgame, what will you do when your Big Shotdom has passed?
What’s Your Reality?
If you’ve achieved a certain level of Big Shotdom, what lessons have you learned on the way? And if you’re a Big Shot To-Be, what realities do you want to remember when you reach the “Big Time”?
About the Author: Marissa is a Can-Do-Ologist who gives creative entrepreneurs – some of whom are themselves Big Shots – an extra brain-on-the-team and pair of hands so they can focus on their great work. If you’d like to find out more about her, check out her website or follow her on Twitter.
Hey Marissa!
This post just reinforced to me that the most important thing I can do on this journey of entrepreneurship is to appreciate where I am and believe in myself and my dreams
First off, I want to always remember that being a big shot means nothing if I’m not happy and living life on my terms, surrounded by family and friends.
Secondly, I never want to be a “big shot”.
I want to be successful and happy and success to me isn’t defined in terms of being big or small, it’s defined by how I think, what I choose to believe and living a connected life.
Yes, this inspire of how obsessed I can get with my stats and traffic and all that :0) What a lovely reminder! Thanks. @TiaSparkles
You write remarkable posts. They’re always thoughtful and insightful, plus there seem to be nuggets on virtually every line. Even throwaway nuggets, FGS!
Thank you for reminding those of us still struggling that where we are is a starting point, not a failure. And that there will always be people “ahead” of us in some way: too true. And if we keep comparing ourselves with them, we’ll keep stumbling. Apples and oranges: we’ve gotta remember that when we start to put on the “less-than” hat…
Thank you for this post, and may you write many more.
All the best,
Lynda
I’m so glad you liked the post, Lynda! Thank you for the kind words.
One of the practices I’m working on (and it’s still very much a practice) is to let my habit of comparing myself to someone else become a habit of feeling gratitude for what I admire in that person, and inspiration + motivation to move one step closer to that in some way. I still inadvertently throw on my Less-Than hat reflexively in a lot of cases, but when I can remember to pause and shift my comparison thinking, it makes all the difference.
Here’s to celebrating the unique gifts of the apples & the oranges!
Oops .. “inspite” not “inspire” although – I LOVE that typo … hehe.
Wanted to add – what goes up always comes down. So no matter how big someone gets, remember, the way down is often faster.
Instead, measure success by love. Happiness. Fulfillment.
You’ll always be a big shot to some people and that will have nothing to do with how much money you make. Yep, big shot to your parents, kids, friends 🙂
Live a life of appreciation and gratitude no matter how much or how little you have.
Ok, I seem to be living on Planet Spirituality & Love today, lol. Signing off now before I totally hijack this post … !
I loved that typo too–I laughed at how dead-on that was.
I also love the reminder that while there’s always someone who’s a bigger shot, there’s always someone to whom you are the big shot, and in ways that you might not even expect. What a powerful notion to carry… no matter where you are on your entrepreneurial or life journey, you already are a Big Shot to someone. I dig that.
Glad you shared some Planet Spirituality & Love here today. 😉
Excellent post.
As an aspiring big-shot and one who follows a lot of the big-shots, the “best” big-shots to me are the ones who remember what it was like to be small and having to hustle to build a community.
I like the emphasis on long-term over short-term thinking. No one’s an overnight success. The reality is that one product launch or blog post or whatever will make or break you; your progress to “stardom” is the sum of your actions over a long period of time.
I’m with you, Brett. I learn so much from people who talk about their own hustle and journey–and all of the missteps, unexpected successes, wrong turns that turned out so right, etc. In a way, life as a Big Shot isn’t as compelling to me as the path that lead up to it, so the people who recall that path, talk openly and honestly about it, and continue to use it even after they’ve hit a level of “Big Shotdom” are the ones to whom I keep returning. They’re seeing it from a different perspective, but they definitely haven’t forgotten.
This is probably the best advice I’ve ever gotten since starting my blog, or since first signing on to Twitter. You are so right, it ebbs, it flows, and even our best efforts can’t always control the rates at which change occurs.
I’m a Little Shot now, and I might end up being a Little Shot later, but there will be periods in between where I will grow bigger if I am consistent and provide quality goods and services. Thanks for letting me know I can relax about the whole thing.
I’m happy to be a part of the permission to relax. I think that’s permission we all have to give ourselves sometimes. I can tell when I’m not taking my own advice, because my writing freezes up. (I often need someone else to remind me to relax about the whole thing–Charlie is often that person!) 🙂
Thanks so much for stopping by. I look forward to crossing paths again soon on Twitter.
You write extremely thought provoking posts, Marissa. Me likes! Thank you. 🙂
In regards to how one can feel in relationship in towards an idol, one of my favorite quotes is from Alejandro Jodorowsky – “When you find an idol, chop his head off”. I’m paraphrasing here because it was originally in Spanish, but anyway… I always found that particular quote amusing because in the end, we’re all just people.
Some of us are serving more people, some less. Some are more “popular”, some less. But, in the end, we all need air, food, water, love, and fulfillment just like everyone else.
What I would also like to add, is that having more influence and popularity also means you have more responsibility, fair or unfair as that may be. You must be very careful with how you use them. And remember to be kind!
Great quote! I’ve heard paraphrased versions of that, and I think recognizing the sameness between us and whatever Big Shot we’re idolizing is really important, because you’re right–we’re all just people. Such a great point. It’s so easy to make the Big Shots into something more or something other than that and forget just how much we share with them. And on the flipside, I think Big Shots who tend to surround themselves entirely with raving fans (and who forget to acknowledge the validity of the non-fans) can slip into a place of ignoring that sameness, which kind of goes to what Brett mentioned above.
And YES to remembering to be kind! I second that!
It is great to have a novel idea and promote it, but dealing with the success and downs can be rough. Keeping the right prospective is very important.
Thank you I needed this post.
Glad the post was a good fit for you, EF!
I’ve read this several times now (because you’re such a wonderful writer that I needed a few passes to start soaking it all in) – and it is resonating deeply with something I recently realized:
I don’t have to wait to behave wise or understanding or compassionate or any of those other traits that I associate with being a Big Shot. I don’t have to hope to someday attain Guru status, and wait to spread my superpowers around.
I can do all that right NOW, because I’m already here. I have my place, I am doing what I was meant to do, and waiting around for a glass slipper to prove to me that I’m supposed to be here is just silliness.
Thank you for a fantastic post. 🙂
Lovely post Marissa!
My philosophy is that we are *all* Little People. Being Big is just an illusion, because wherever you go, there you are.
I will say from personal experience that the more reach, connections you have, the harder it is to engage in personal dialogue with everyone. This can be perceived as aloof of uncaring. I find that I have to make choices for personal sanity (email just about kills me) and family connection to be OK to not respond to everyone.
Martha Beck once told me that the more exposure you get, the more important it is to put clear energy boundaries out — what our friend Hiro Boga refers to as sovereignty.
In the end, you have to do the very best you can — when in growth mode, give yourself permission to claim your own authority, and not to compare yourself with others. There will ALWAYS be someone cuter, smarter, more witty and with bigger #s of blog subscribers.
All that matters is that you are fiercely passionate about your work, and do it to the best of your ability, no matter what others say. Put the focus on serving your people.
We are all on our own journeys. I don’t worry so much about what someone else does, since I know that only they inhabit their bodies, and know why and how their story will play out.
Big hugs,
-P
In my industry, and especially with the advent of Twitter, there are a great many “big shots” who are in truth only self-proclaimed “big shots”. One discovers quickly upon scratching the surface beneath all the hot air that these “big shots” really are not the big shots they pretend to be at all, especially when you consider their actual skills and talent, what they have accomplished, how much experience they have, etc. (In fact you wouldn’t even know these ‘big shots’ existed were it not for Twitter). So, unfortunately you find a lot of arrogance and disdain from these so-called big shots for designers and developers who they feel are ‘beneath’ them because these poor saps apparently have not gained enough “Twitter Fame”, prefer to work at real jobs instead of blowing their own horns, or aren’t writing the brilliant attention getting articles for the popular blogs (co-authoring), etc. etc. I find it quite amusing really, as truly we are only as good as our effort, dedication, talent, skills, work, and, if you’re a freelancer like me, the number and quality of paying jobs we are able to procure for ourselves through good business management and savvy marketing. I love your article.
Awesome post Marissa! Especially after getting home from a presentation where I was the “big shot” speaker today, LOL.
Love the reality check of this post and the grounding energy. Glad we’re all in this together!
Sandi