Mind maps are a great tool for creative people, in that they are a very quick, natural way for us to get whatever is in our head out of there and on paper where we can see it. But I’ve recently learned of a powerful way to increase the value of my mind maps: I use them to address how I feel.
The typical way that we do mind maps is based on topics. One topic relates to other, which relates to another, and so on. (For a good primer on how to do mind maps, check out Buzan’s How to Mind Map.)
All this cognitive mapping is fine and good when you’re not cognitively clear about the project, but the truth of the matter is that motivation has more to do with emotions than it does with thoughts (and cognitive stuff). Deep down, how you feel about something weighs more heavily than what you think about something.
Where Does This Stuff Come From?
On one particularly melancholy day a few months ago, I made a mind map to address why I was stuck. It had its normal cognitive stuff, and when I was done, I wasn’t settled. Just playing around, I added a feelings bubble along each major dimension of my life. The feelings that came up for my business were: afraid, alone, vulnerable, failure, fraud, and ineffective. Instead of trying to make myself feel something different, I just wrote what I was feeling.
Then I was able to ask some questions:
- Why was I feeling alone? What could I do about it?
- Why did I feel like a failure? What example was I using to compare my progress to?
- Why did I feel like a fraud? Who was I cheating?
And so on.
Once those feelings were out on the table, I could process them. And after I started answering the questions, I saw that those feelings were just fleeting feelings, and it was okay to have them…but they didn’t correspond to the way the world was. Once I accepted the way the world was, I understood that those feelings weren’t my own – they where just the trash, noise, and shit sandwiches that pessimistic people are all too eager to share with others.
I returned to the cognitive parts of the mind map and kept going. Unsurprisingly, I ended up with several pages of mind maps, and soon thereafter made the changes I needed to that propelled me on the path I’m on now.
The point here is that why I was stuck had nothing to do with the cognitive things like ideas, thoughts, and relationships – it had everything to do with the way I was feeling. That was they key insight then, and it had dramatic changes to the way I understood productivity. (You’ll hear much more about this soon.)
It’s Not About Making Yourself Get Unstuck – It’s About Letting Yourself Get Unstuck
If you’re currently stuck or need a liberating boost, make a mind map and add a bubble for your feelings. If you’re good for now, make a note to give it a try. Here a few key points:
- Let yourself feel and write whatever it is that you’re feeling. You don’t have to share it with anyone, and just because you feel it doesn’t mean that it matches the way the world is. Don’t try to hide or resist what you feel, as it’ll only make it worse.
- Once you have an honest assessment about your feelings, start asking why you feel that way. Don’t judge how you should feel – just ask why you feel that way. Where’s it coming from?
- After you’ve done some open question-asking, ask yourself whether that feeling had some validation from the world. If it does, what can you do to change the world? If it doesn’t, what can you do to listen to the world?
- Change the world if you need to; trust the world if you don’t.
I hope this helps you when you need it. I know it helps me.
I am a huge fan of this whole approach. I often find that I get lazy and don’t map things I totally could and even should — not just emotional situations but all kinds of great information that I visualize better if I scribble it on paper. That’s probably part of me taking time to relax and not constantly be forcing myself onto the next “work” task. Hrm. ^_^
.-= Megan M.´s last blog ..How I Survived the What-If Invasion of Ought Nine =-.
Hey Charlie, found your blog through a tweet by @jonathanfields. I never thought of using mind maps to assess feelings, but I like it. I especially like this point: “Don’t try to hide or resist what you feel, as it’ll only make it worse.” Sometimes it’s hard for us to give ourselves a proper assessment because we don’t want to believe we’re feeling the way we’re feeling. I’m going to use this next time I’m stuck. Thanks!
.-= Karol Gajda´s last blog ..7 Tips: How To Declutter Your Life Using Craiglist =-.
I’m starting to use Mind Maps but I never thought of that kind of use. I’ll have to try. I think it can be a good help. Great post.
.-= Yann´s last blog ..YannTessier: RT @CharlieGilkey Today’ s post "How to Mind Map Your Way Through Stuckness" http://bit.ly/4bP2Py ~ nice post about another use of MM =-.
“Change the world if you need to; trust the world if you don’t.”
Love this. Thank you.
Hi Charlie,
Can you share a sample mind map of how you illustrated these feelings?
Thanks,
Donna
.-= Donna´s last blog ..my housekeeping strengths =-.
Hi Charlie,
I found you from a tweet by @havi. I love this idea. For people who are all in their heads (it is a MIND map), starting the map with the intention of adding feelings (and I would add bodily sensations, but i wouldn’t have thought of it on my own) is a great way to get at all the stuff that’s going on. Bravo.
paige
.-= Paige´s last blog ..Nia with no sound =-.
I found this post through Havi Brook’s twitter. This is a great idea, I’ll definitely try this. Thanks!
“Change the world if you need to; trust the world if you don’t.”
I love this as well!
.-= Aaron Ulbricht´s last blog ..Early Riser and Journaling Day 22 =-.
Well….yes. Motivation is about how you feel. Sometimes. (We all do things we don’t ‘feel’ like doing. But there’s room for debate there.)
But ultimately, the way we feel comes down to what we’re thinking about something. Which I kept wanting to point out except that you *did* mention going to the ‘cognitive part’ of the map. And I like the creative exercise to examine the thoughts behind the feelings!
Nice post!
Thanks Charlie!
All the best!
deb
.-= Deb Owen´s last blog ..what have you been working on? (answer: it might not be any of your business) =-.
Though I have written mind maps for planning, I never created one to map out my feelings, but that sounds like a great idea! I guess I would use some of the same basic materials and principals I would with any other mind map?
.-= Carla´s last blog ..Things you dont need to buy – reducing waste =-.
I’ve never worked through my feelings with a mind map. I’m going to try this next time I feel stuck.
I’ve also been one to push to make myself feel better. I never allowed myself to just relax with where I was at.
Happiness doesn’t come from feeling good all the time. Happiness comes from relaxing with where we are at and not wanting to feel differently. This is very hard for me, but I’ve been practicing. I’ve built up some good skills, but I have a long way to go. Now I have a new tool to work with my emotions. Thanks!
.-= Karl Staib – Work Happy Now´s last blog ..Netflix Company Culture – Freedom & Responsibility =-.
@Megan: You answered your own question there at the end, didn’t you? When you’re mapping or planning, that is the work you’re doing. That extra 10 minutes pays off.
@Karol: I think what goes on is something like “If I say I feel that way, then I’m giving that feeling validity.” But until you know where you are, you can’t move away from it. Let me know if it works for you! Also: welcome – thanks for commenting!
@Yann: When starting out with mind mapping, allow yourself to play. I resisted mapping for a long time because I tried to force structure instead of following the path of my concentration.
@Mona: Thanks!
@Donna: I’ve never actually illustrated on my maps. I get wrapped around the axles about the illustration and it ruins my flow. So, unfortunately, I can’t share the illustrations.
@Paige: Thanks, Paige!
@Mona: Thanks. Rereading the post, I think the hardest part is actually trusting the world. I’ll think and share more stuff in that area…
@Deb: There’s definitely room for debate there. I have an idea percolating to extend that very conversation. When it’s ready to share, I’ll try to remember to notify you. Thanks for pushing into that!
@Carla: Yep. Except be really careful about the principle of not trying to go away from how you’re feeling if that’s where you’re being taken.
@Karl:
Dead on, Karl! Dead on.
how can I do mind map could someone help me .
How the hell can one change the world … it feels concrete… phobic, scary etc
Start a conversation with someone and do the best you can to share your smile with them and acknowledge them. Do so with every person you meet and you’ll change the world.
Think of a small stream carving it’s way through a mountain. It’s just a series of small interactions carried throughout time – but that’s how we got the Grand Canyon.