Charlie and I recently celebrated our anniversary (May 7), which had me reminiscing about what we have experienced together, and also reflecting on the many gratitudes I have for our relationship.
One of the things I can say without hesitation is that I know I am a better person because of my relationship with Charlie. And, to me, that is worthy of enormous gratitude. When we know we are better because of a relationship we are in, I believe that is something we should honor, celebrate, and be sure to properly feed and care for.
One of the things that Charlie and I agreed to many years ago is that we would always continue to work on ourselves as individuals and on our relationship together. We would never stop learning and being curious about how we could be better versions of ourselves. And, these better versions of ourselves can’t help but elevate our relationship.
We know that we are both already worthy of love and acceptance, and have that for ourselves and one another now, and even 23 years ago when we were much messier versions of ourselves. ;-p However, we know that in growing ourselves we are also making our relationship stronger.
I’m sure you’ve heard it said that relationships are hard work. They are! And they are worth it.
When we become lax or assume that our relationship is just fine and stop putting in the effort to be a great partner is when we run into trouble in our relationships. While perhaps not the best comparison, it’s a bit like saying, “I worked my butt off to get in shape, lose weight, eat healthy, and now I can stop because I’m where I want to be.” You have to continue to do the work to stay in a healthy place.
Putting in the Effort
- How have you and your partner decided to make your relationship a priority?
- How do you make sure daily that you are not taking your relationship for granted?
- How do you show your partner every day that they matter?
It can be easy to let your relationship slide, especially when you feel that it is in a good place. You are strong and steady in your relationship so nothing needs to change, right? Wrong. How did you get to that strong and steady place? It took work and it needs care and attention to stay in balance.
Whether you are in a great place with your partner at the moment or you are feeling more disconnected than you would like, now is the perfect time to remember your gratitudes for your partner and communicate them open-heartedly.
Might there be a way you can put in a little extra work today to strengthen your relationship?
What is your partner’s love language? Have you spoken it to them today?
Once you start to put in a bit more work and show your partner that you are wanting to make your relationship even better you might want to open the conversation about how you can continue to work together to up-level your relationship.
Reaping Relationship Rewards
Yes, relationships are work, but they are so worth it! Adventuring through this life together with someone you know, love, trust, and can grow with is the ultimate gift.
Charlie, we make a damn good team and I’m grateful every day that we found each other and are always growing together.
While I am writing this to and for couples I believe that this can be useful for anyone, as we all have relationships with people we love. Romantic relationships are unique in some ways, but the foundation of any thriving relationship has many of the same building blocks. You’ve got to do the work and continue to strengthen your foundation over time.
PS: This song by Maren Morris is a sweet reminder of the importance of a strong foundation.
This post is also a part of the Daily Anchor email series, which we’re sending out to help provide you support and grounding and hope during this challenging time. If you’d like to receive the Daily Anchor in your inbox each weekday, you can sign up here.