In my overview of Aristotelian ethics, I noted that we become more virtuous through practice. This post gives activities and suggestions that help you practice courage.
The virtues are interconnected in a very important way. It turns out that working on one virtue has reciprocal effects on other virtues. You’ll see the reciprocal virtues listed in each bullet, as some of the different activities that make us more courageous tend to make us more virtuous in some areas than others.
It’s key to remember the Doctrine of the Mean when reviewing this list. For every activity mentioned, there’s a way to overdo it, leading to rashness, and there’s a way to underdo it, leading to cowardice. Find that middle ground between the two and begin flourishing.
- Name Your Phobias and Conquer Them.
- Get in a Romantic Relationship if You’re Not in One Due to Insecurities
- Handle Tough Emotions when They Come up.
- Talk to Someone Who Is Not like You.
- Tell Your Boss “No.”
- Stand up for What’s Right when It’s Hard to Do.
- Become Slightly Rebellious About Something
- Become a Guardian
- Run for a Political Office.
- Start a Blog
- Start a Business
- Read Philosophy
There’s a difference between being uncomfortable in situations and having a spine-tingling phobia of something. The thing is, some phobias are such that they keep us from flourishing. Agoraphobia (fear of large crowds of people), for instance, keeps us from interacting with other people in ways that they’re comfortable and limits the way we can find joy outside of home.
Muster up the courage to name your phobias and work through the fear they generate. The reality is that you may just move to being uncomfortable with whatever you’re currently scared of, but you can function as a rational person through discomfort. (Reciprocal Virtue(s): Friendliness, Indignancy)
Perhaps an odd tip for becoming more courageous, but many people never find their true happiness for fear of being rejected, accepted, stifled, or whatever other fear of intimate relationships they conjure up. The root of their relationship avoidance is fear, and this fear leads to sub-optimal flourishing.
Fight the fear and open up…what’s the worst that can happen? You could end up lonely? That’s the route you’re currently on, anyways. (Reciprocal Virtue(s): Friendliness, Truthfulness, Benevolence, Conscientiousness, Generosity)
A lot of people shove tough emotions down when they come up and they never deal with the source of the emotion. Some are afraid to know what lurks in their core and, as a result, they never know how to process their emotions and figure out who they are.
But you can’t make meaningful decisions about your life if you don’t know who you are. You’ll waffle from year to year, make commitments you can’t keep, be insecure with jobs you take, and be in awkward relationships with others. It’s possible that you could stumble into flourishing, but it can sometimes be really easy to confuse temporary, security blanket positions for lifelong flourishing. (Reciprocal Virtue(s): Temperance, Spiritedness)
We naturally tend to congregate with people who are very much like us. They have similar skin colors, financial statuses, and political and religious ideologies. Though there’s nothing inherently wrong with this, it has a tendency to make us very narrow-minded when it comes to different perspectives on the human condition.
Find someone who has a different perspective on the human condition and talk to them. Try to understand their position, but most of all, get slightly outside your personal comfort zone. Break down the unconscious social barrier that you have set up for yourself. (Reciprocal Virtue(s): Friendliness, Generosity, Benevolence)
Many people are scared to tell the Boss “no” because they’re afraid of long-term repercussions like being fired, so they constantly take more work than they can possibly do, which impacts other areas of their lives. They become stressed about work, disgruntled, and frustrated at themselves for not standing up for themselves.
Find a good reason to say “no” before the Boss asks. Usually, all it takes is looking at what all you currently have to do and being prepared to use that as the justification for you not taking anymore work. Saying “no” is much easier when you can say “I’m sorry, but if I attempt to do that Project X may fall further behind” or “I had this great idea about Project X that’s taking a little bit longer to complete than I thought…would you rather me drop that, or work on what you’re proposing?” Be able to talk about the status of the project, and then over-deliver on the product.
Lastly, remember the difference between being the “go-to person” and the “default person.” The go-to people get the hard jobs, but their Bosses use them differently than they use the default person. The default person just gets all the jobs because the Boss knows she’ll do them. You want to be the go-to person, not the default person. (Reciprocal Virtue(s): Industriousness)
It’s really easy to stand up for what’s right when everyone else is already doing it. It’s much more frightening to the be the first person to stand up for something or to be part of a small group who are going against the tide of injustice or social slights.
Dr. King observed that it wasn’t the small minority of evil people that made the world so bad, but rather it was the silence of the majority that went along with what was going on. Don’t be a part of that silent majority. (Reciprocal Virtue(s): Generosity, Truthfulness, Friendliness, Indignancy, Spiritedness, Benevolence, Conscientiousness)
We are all unique people, with unique tastes and slightly different perspectives. Many people are afraid to be their true selves, though, for fear of rejection or because they don’t want be singled out as being different.
If you figure out who you are and what you like, manifest yourself and pursue those things you find valuable. If someone asks you why you’re doing what you’re doing, stick up for yourself and defend your choices. Ask them why their position should be the default one. You’d be surprised how many people don’t have an answer for that question.
The key here is not to through your life choices and beliefs at other people. No one likes a zealot. But don’t let either people’s ways dictate your just because they’re in the majority. If they press you, press them back. Check out Amy’s rebellion for a good example of how to pull this off. (Reciprocal Virtue(s): Temperance, Conscientiousness, Generosity, Truthfulness, Friendliness, Indignancy, Spiritedness, Benevolence)
I’m not talking about a parental guardian. This is a reference to Plato’s Republic, which listed types of people out by what function they performed for society. Guardians are those who protect the fabric of society. In today’s context, they are the policemen, firefighters, emergency medical technicians, military servicemembers, and emergency response personnel (think FEMA).
All of these civil service organizations have volunteer or part-time positions available, so you don’t have to have a major career change to become part of them. Many, like the National Guard or Reserves, give financial benefits for being a part of them, so you get a side-benefit, as well.
Few things test and temper your courage like being in emergency situations and having to respond. And there are few things more rewarding at the end of the day, or one’s life, as knowing that when the time came, you were able to face your fear and help others. If you join one of these organizations, you will have at least one situation where your courage will be tested. But the organizations will also train you how to become more courageous, and those lessons apply outside of emergency situations. (Reciprocal Virtue(s): Temperance, Conscientiousness, Benevolence, Spiritedness, Industriousness)
Few things are as frightening as living your life with others watching. What’s even more frightening is doing that while you have to make important decisions that affect the lives of others. This fear keeps many from considering running for office, with the result that a lot of otherwise qualified, good people sit at home on the couch and we get the…er…other type.
I’m not saying you have to run for President, but run for something important that you believe in. Don’t like the way the PTA is operating? Rather than complain, run for PTA president. Overcome the fear and make positive changes for those around you. (Reciprocal Virtue(s): Temperance, Conscientiousness, Generosity, Truthfulness, Friendliness, Indignancy, Spiritedness, Benevolence)
Expressing yourself to people you know is a bit scary. Expressing yourself to people you don’t know, and (potentially) a lot more of them, is even more scary. Observe that most blogs don’t take off when their authors are hiding behind the text; it’s only when those authors expose themselves as true people that others become interested.
Deliver the content, but deliver it through your person, not your computer. (Reciprocal Virtue(s): Conscientiousness, Friendliness, Industriousness, Wittiness)
Fear of failure and uncertainty keeps most people from considering starting their own business. Some people find meaningful employment working for someone else, but many, many others don’t, and rather than flourishing while doing something they love, they wither most of their adult lives while they look forward to retirement.
Even if you like doing what you do, starting your own business will make you a better person and will allow you many different options should your desires or conditions change in the future. (Reciprocal Virtue(s): Industriousness, Temperance, Spiritedness)
No, this is not about job security for me. This is about the fact that most of us live comfortably with unexamined lives because we’re afraid to subject our beliefs and choices to the scrutiny of the wisdom of the ages. What’s so scary about philosophy is that it has a tendency to get us to move from comfortable certainty to uncomfortable uncertainty.
Overcome this fear and learn to live the Good life. Or at least learn that though the Good life is simple, it’s not easy and it’s not really certain. (Reciprocal Virtue(s): Temperance, Indignancy, Conscientiousness, Spiritedness, Truthfulness, Benevolence; Practice Wisdom, in general)