In my last post I ran through a list of Big Days that I’ve done a horrible job of honoring. One Big Day that’s not on the list is Mother’s Day. Of course, if we had children, it would be on the list.

I also mentioned getting thoughtful gifts for Big Days. Well, the folks over at SiteBuildIt! have decided that they’re going to honor mothers with their first Mother’s Day special! Get a second SBI! subscription for just $100 more!

To make the deal even sweeter, SBI! is offering its massive, 258 page Make Your Words Sell e-book for free! This has been selling for $29.95, but now they’re just giving it away.

Here’s what you’ll be getting:

• A proven Video Action Guide that teaches you how to build a great site that sells.

In the week I spent following the action guide, I learned more about building effective webpages than I have in about four years of reading about it. The positive changes at this blog are largely due to my applying lessons learned from SBI! to this blog. I can’t speak highly enough about it.

• Tools that help you pick your domain name, niche, and theme.

The integral tools offered by SBI! supplement the Video Action Guide and help you determine what pages to build. The tools that give a rough indicator of profitability were especially helpful, as it’s not at all cool to build a page you’re passionate with the intent to monetize it only to find out that it’s not likely to be profitable.

• Access to a friendly, service-center forum community

SBI! and its customers are a tight knit group. I’ve seen answers to people’s questions show up minutes after the question were posted, people giving extended, follow-up suggestions, and people generally helping each other toward success.

• Periodic articles from the SBI! team that keep you informed about important information from the news and blogs across the interwebs.

Ken and his staff do an excellent job of reading and summarizing the important stuff from the interwebs. It’s a real time saver.

• A Win-Win Deal

Should you get a SBI! subscription and think it’s not worth the value, they refund the entire amount of your purchase and give you the domain name and pages you have built. There is nothing to lose.

“Every woman must have..a room of her own” - Virginia Woolf

There are a lot of reasons why a Mom might want her own income generating website. Perhaps she wants to make some extra income while having the flexibility to stay at home. Perhaps she wants something to get lost in when the kids are asleep or away at school. The bottomline is that every woman needs a space of her own, and that’s what you’ll be giving her with her own SBI! subscription. Click the link for more information on why SBI! works for Work at Home Moms.

But SBI! isn’t just for Moms that are still taking care of their children. Maybe Mom is retired but would still like to have her own income generating website. SBI! is so easy to use and good at teaching the fundamentals that, if (older) Mom can type, she can build income generating webpages. Click the link for more information on why SBI! works for Retirees.

But here’s the deal: this special is scheduled to end tomorrow, May 11th! You have to move quickly on this one!

Still not sold? What information do you need?:

• Proof that SBI! Works?
• A Traffic Test?
• A Comparison?
• Sample SBI! Sites?
• The testimony of other, more well-known bloggers?
• Do you just have questions about SBI!?

Do I think this is a great product? You bet. I use it and I love it. Check it out, for the Mother in your life.

Last Wednesday was, hands down, the best day I have ever had in Nebraska. It was my five year anniversary with my lovely wife, Angela, and boy, was it nice.

Especially considering how much of an idiot I was.

See, I’m horrible at Big Days, and I’m fortunate enough to have several of them to make it through a year. My wife and I started dating on September 24th nearly eleven years ago, so the 24th of September is a Big Day. Her birthday, annually, is a Big Day. Valentines’ Day is a Big Day. And the 7th of May, the day in which we forewent tradition and said “I do” at the Justice of the Peace, is a Big Day.

So, you’d think with four chances a year, I’d get at least one of the right. In which case, you’d be wrong. After every Big Day, we have one of “those talks.”

I’ve mentioned in my bio that my wife is a very supportive and patient women. She puts up with my shenanigans on a daily basis and does all those things that the wives of scatterbrained men have to do, like remind me to eat and change pants after a few days. It would be one thing if I were utterly brilliant at something or the other, but supporting a man that’s hovering within arms’ reach of mediocrity in everything that he does is an entirely different matter.

To my credit, I do a pretty good job on the daily things (after years of “those talks”). I’m supportive, spend lots of quality time with her, and am generally her biggest fan. But I’m horrible at Big Days.

What frustrates her even more is that I’m a trained logistician - I can develop a plan to get both large and small resources from one spot to the next within certain limits like a madman, but I can’t orchestrate the simple movement of two people to a date to save my life. Let alone figuring out the logistics of getting a thoughtful gift from the store to the house before the Big Day.

I had it all figured out this time around (I always do). I had set aside some time Monday night to do nothing but figure out how I was going to blow her mind on an awesome date. Until Monday rolled around, and I got behind and tired, and ended up talking to my parents - and I hadn’t reviewed my daily tasks to see that that time was reserved for Big Day planning. I had the sneaking suspicion all day Tuesday that I forgot to do something the day before, but couldn’t figure out what.

It’s important that I take a minute to explain why it takes a lot of planning. I’m in the unfortunate position of being married to a lady that defies normal gift giving. She doesn’t want flowers, shoes, jewelry, clothes, or candy, and I have had little to no luck at actually getting her something that’s thoughtful that she’ll actually like and use. The best hit, in nearly eleven years, was an UnderArmour warmup suit and assorted underwear (yes, it’s that awesome, ladies and gentlemen). We’ve since filled out her wardrobe with UnderArmour stuff, so that option was out. I lost the list I had made of gift ideas for her, and, anyway, all of the items on the list would’ve taken longer to ship than Monday night, so I would’ve been SOL eitherway.

She feels much the same about dating venues, as well. So, clearly, Mario Kart and Rock Band wouldn’t do, but what else counts? Knowing that it would take some serious mental juice to figure out what to get her and what we would do, I reserved some time to think about it. Oh, were it as easy as buying jewelry, flowers, and taking her to a romantic restaurant!

So, I went ahead and finished all of my other work for Tuesday and was spent. I managed to get everything taken care of so that we could spend the entire day not-working and spending quality time together. When I emerged from the office, Angela let me know that she had a wonderful day planned for us. Panic hit me, as I realized that I hadn’t planned anything - anything - for the next day. She reassured me that it was okay, and I believed her. (Idiot!)

We had a peaceful morning on the Big Day, and she let me know that we needed to be ready for couples’ massage that afternoon. I’d never had a massage before, so it was a nice experience - I probably won’t be doing it again, but it’s still cool to do new things together. But, before it was time to go to the Spa, it dawned on me that I hadn’t filled out the card I got for her. So I spent the last few minutes locked in the office, frantically trying to find the card and then writing in it. (Idiot!)

After I came out, Angela let me know that she had found my “stash” some weeks prior. I had hidden my stash in my office desk, and she had been through my desk looking for notecards that I told her were in there.

Now, folks, my stash is not what you’re thinking. It was a stockpile of cards that I had picked out a few months prior. After I bombed the Big Day in September, I made a note to stock up on cards so that I’d never be running behind on cards again. As a result, I’ve been a card rock star since then - if she were having a bad day, I’d pull out one of the cards, write something thoughtful in it, hide it somewhere sweet, and then she’d find it. Or if I just wanted to show I was thinking about her, I’d write one up and drop it on her unexpectedly.

What made it seem so sweet, apparently, was the fact she thought I was going and getting the cards in response to her bad days or because I was motivated to go get a card as a result of me thinking about her on that day. My romantic credibility, always in jeopardy anyway, dropped considerably when she found the stash.

And that I was running behind filling out a card that I had bought months before made it all the worse. So much for Getting Cards Done. (Idiot!)

The events of the day went along spectacularly (as she had planned) and we had recovered from my stupidity…until dinner. Throughout dinner, she began to pull successively larger surprises out of her purse. It started off with my favorite candy, moved to a iTunes gift card, and ended with tickets to Jack Johnson’s concert in August - all really wonderful, thoughtful gifts. From my side of the table, there came nothing. Nada. Zilch. We hadn’t discussed whether we were getting gifts, so I assumed that we weren’t. (Idiot!)

It was a quiet ride home from the restaurant, and the quietness was made all the more intense because we had driven to Omaha to go to our favorite date restaurant. Sadly, during one of “those talks” the next day, she let me know that the day was awesome and met her every expectation. She expected that I would be an idiot, and, predictably, I was.

The truly wise learn from the mistakes of others. That said, I’ll make a short list for all you men of what TO DO to have a better chance at getting Big Days right:

• Take time to plan the day well in advance

The day before the Big Day does not count as “well in advance.” At one week out, you need to have all the gifts, reservations, and any other important activities planned out. That gives you enough time to get stuff shipped to your buddies’ houses so you can hide it from her.

• Get her something, even if it’s not thoughtful

Effort counts here, fellas. Sure, she may never actually use what you get her, but that you took the time to try is what is important. Avoid items that make her more productive or efficient around the house, and I don’t care if the vacuum cleaner needs replacement - it doesn’t count as a Big Day gift. (Save those for unstated surprises: a new vacuum cleaner should mysteriously, without announcement, appear in the closet. You should not attempt to take credit for it, for that will backfire upon you in ways untold.) If you can get something thoughtful and really cool, great; if you can’t, try like hell but do not show up emptyhanded.

Listing off all of the things you thought about getting but didn’t does not help. Beware statements indicating that she doesn’t want anything or that you don’t have to get anything for her. Better to be a thoughtful idiot who doesn’t listen than an unthoughtful one who listens.
(Sidebar: If Angela is reading this, she’s cringing at the fact that I’ve associated household chores with women. Why can’t the vacuum cleaner be a gift for a man? How dare I continually divide the labor up so that women get the domestic chores! Why is she married to such a patriarchal idiot?!)

• A card is not optional!

That you don’t care much for cards is neither here nor there. Get one, and have it filled out before the Big Day. Filling it out on the Big Day is a NO GO at this station.

• Under no circumstances are you to refer to any of this as something you have to do

Yes, the efforts that you are undertaking may not be fun, but do not, on pain of death, shoe-caused concussion, or food poisoning, refer to it as anything resembling work or something you don’t want to do. Statements such as “I have to plan what we’ll be doing on that day” that sound like “I have to prepare this report for work” should not issue forth from your lips, despite what you’re thinking.

You are enjoying thinking about the time you will spend with your beautiful lady. You are looking forward to spending quality time with your loving wife/partner/lover. You are excited about surprising her with your gifts of love on your Big Day. You are not taking your mother to her colonoscopy.

I love you very much, honey, and I’m sorry for being an idiot.

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Photo credit: permanantly scatterbrained

Fridays (or, in the case of the last few weeks, weekends) are Food For Thought Days. On these days, I drop the normal “here’s a solution” standard and instead write a “here’s an interesting question” post. My goal in these posts is hence not to provide answers, but to introduce good questions.

I have had several comments here recently about the “new focus” or the content on my “new blog.” This seems strange to me, for it feels like I’m writing about the same stuff I’ve always been writing about in the same ways that I’ve always been writing about them.

But it’s also got me thinking more about The Ship of Theseus. The Ship of Theseus is a classical philosophical puzzle about identity. I’ll give the quick version. (Note: if you’re a professional philosopher, you will not be happy with the quick version. But you likely won’t be happy with much of anything I write here, anyway.)

Imagine you have a wooden ship in your backyard and decide that one day you want to take it apart piece by piece. You go about taking it apart, delicately removing each part as if you were going to use those same parts to rebuild it later (should you decide to do so) and storing it in your garage.

Now, here’s part of the problem. When you remove each piece, it still seems to be (intuitively) the same Ship. Removing one plank from the floor, for example, doesn’t seem to make it a different ship. However, if you keep up with the process, you will end up with all of the pieces of the Ship in your garage, but it will no longer be the Ship of Theseus, since, by hypothesization, you won’t have a ship - you’ll have a pile of wood that used to be a ship.

But at some point in your deconstruction, the Ship had to move from existence to non-existence, unless you want to say all the pieces in the garage is the ship. At what discrete point did the Ship cease being the Ship?

A further wrinkle: suppose that, rather than just tearing the Ship apart, you decide to replace every wooden piece you removed with an aluminum piece of the exact same dimensions. So, when you start, you have a completely wooden Ship, but at the end, you have a completely aluminum Ship. But, at each discrete stage of time, you only have a ship that is one piece different than it was in the previous moment.

An even further problem: suppose that you decide to use the wooden planks you removed in the case above to build another Ship which is materially identical to the original ship. At the end of that project, you’ll have two Ships, one aluminum and one wooden, that each have a claim to being the Ship of Theseus. They can’t both be THE Ship of Theseus, but it could be true that they both could NOT be the Ship of Theseus, but the problem becomes, when was the Ship of Theseus destroyed?

A few options:

• The Ship of Theseus is what it is by the individual parts that make it up.

In this case, the second you removed the first wooden plank from the Ship, it ceased to be. But the individual atoms in the wood are forever changing, with the result that the Ship is never itself.

• The Ship of Theseus is what it is because of its structure.

In this case, the Ship remains the same ship throughout the change from wood to aluminum, so you have the seemingly inconsistent result that the Ship of Theseus is both an aluminum and a wooden ship. Furthermore, when you have two ships (as in the last thought experiment), they both have identical structures, so you wind up with the result that both are THE Ship of Theseus - meaning that two discrete things are one numerical thing.

• The Ship of Theseus is what it is because of its history.

In this case, the Ship remains the same because of its particular role in the history of the world. Parts come and go, but the actor remains the same. You’ll still wind up with the problem in the case of Theseus duplicates, because each share a relevant history with the “original” ship.

Now, the real problem is not at all about ships, but instead about that that makes us who we are. We know that parts of who we are changes from year to year, but we still think we’re the same people.

Is it because of our parts - i.e. the individual matter that makes us up? Breathe, and you’re no longer the same you.

Is it because of our structure? Lose a limb, or cut your hair, and you’re no longer the same person.

Is it because of our history in the world? Were you to be duplicated, you’d either have a existential twin, or you’d cease to be.

Is it because of our thoughts, feelings, and all the other stuff that goes on in our heads? Lose your memories, and you’re no longer you. Have a radical change of heart, and the person you were once before is gone.

Is it because of our souls? Souls could logically be duplicated and would run the same risks of the Ships. (Sidebar: soul talk, in general, is a way to understand what it is that is us through time. Our physical bodies come to pass, and theories of identity that posit spiritual existence before and after physical existence have to have some device to allow for identity through the different phases of our existence.)

So, despite the fact that I changed blog domains, concepts, and taglines last month, the core parts remained the same. What, then, makes it a “new” blog? (Note the trick: the question is not about the blog.)

If some material, structural, historical, or spiritual part of you, at some particular time, enjoyed this post, please consider subscribing to my feed, commenting, or sharing it on StumbleUpon, del.i.cious, or Digg by using the handy form below. Thank you for your time and support!

Photo Credit: Maggie-Me

Spring is in the air, and it seems as if the blogosphere has been a bit more quiet than normal. While the quantity of writing is down, the quality seems to be better. Enjoy the roundup!

• Why Your Loved Ones Want You To Fail - IttyBiz

Why do your loved ones want you to fail? Shouldn’t they be rooting for your success? Naomi gives a lot of reasons why they want you to fail, with some tips on what to do about it.

• Ten Top Tops to Overcome Obstacles to Success - My Super-Charged Life

In my experience, people who are unsuccessful tend to think that those who are successful have had it easier than they have. The fact is that the successful people have just learned to overcome obstacles. Jeff gives ten tips to overcome obstacles to success.

• What Do You Do if You’re Satisfied? - Bloggrrl

I’ve been reading Michelle’s blog for a long time, and there’s a new wind in the air over there. At one point in time, she was writing to quit a job she hated. She no longer hates that job - so the question is what to do now. Why I find this interesting is that people on change in the face of two things: 1) discomfort, and 2) the desire to become better. But, the desire to become better, for a lot of people, doesn’t have a lot of motivational force. Or maybe people who have the desire to become better are not comfortable being less than they could be, so it’s still discomfort doing the work. Definitely something to think about.

• Your Mid-Life Crisis: The Rules - Dumb Little Man

Lori, who, as far as I can tell, is neither dumb nor a man (I haven’t ruled out little, yet) gives rules for managing the ole’ Mid-Life Crisis. I think it’s good information for managing radical change and aging, in general.

• 70 Simple Power Tao Secret Hacks to Writing the Perfect Productivity Article, Plus a Guide and System for Doing It - The Growing Life

I can’t write 90% of my posts now without thinking about Clay’s parody post. Parody is so effective when it’s so true. Thanks, Clay, for completely ruining my Friday Meditations, Planner Series, Virtue Series, and just about anything else I was going to write- oh, and ruining the chance to use a picture of me jumping…

• No One Is Good at Multitasking - Productivity Planner

Before my productivity engine came to a bloody, screeching halt, I used to believe that I needed to become better at multitasking. If I could do more tasks in the same amount of time, I thought, I could get more done in less time. Rubbish, lies, and deceptions. Chris’s post comes to the same conclusion, but his is backed by research.

• 16 Ways to Keep a Razor-Sharp Focus at Work - Zen Habits

Now you know that I think multitasking is bunk, and the opposite of multitasking is focusing on one task at a time. Glen’s great guest post on Zen Habits hits the spot on how to stay focused while you work.

• Offline Reading - Productivity 501

Part of my growing and learning process is to continually read offline material. Don’t get me wrong - I love a lot of the material written online, but Mark gives four downsides to online material that I find true. Of course, the hard part is finding time to get good reading time in for both mediums.

• How to Avoid Making Stupid Mistakes - Scott H Young

Part of life is knowing how to recover from stupid mistakes, but another, even more important part, is figuring out how to avoid them in the first place. Scott’s insightful post helps with the latter aspect. My favorite: “Metaphors are your intellectual weapons to prevent mistakes.” And I’ve made it known how I feel about metaphors.

• 5 Signs You’ve Married Your Problems (and how to divorce them) - Jonathan Mead

Having problems is bad enough. Being married to them is worse. Jonathan’s excellent post gives the five signs that you’ve married your problems - and ways to file for divorce. And these divorces won’t be so damned expensive.

• 10 Reasons to Use an Exercise Ball as Your Chair - GearFire

Our physical condition is an important aspect of our productivity, and I’m always looking for easy ways to exercise or condition my body, especially if I can do that while doing something else. I like sitting on my exercise ball instead of other chairs for many of the reasons Geoff lists. It’s a great way to exercise your core without actively thinking about it or trying to.

• Word Porn: Reader Challenge

Every Friday, Amy has a post on Word Pr0n, where she introduces cool words to use instead of our more mundane and hackneyed mutterings. I challenged her to find words to replace the overused “sweet” and “awesome.” She accepts the challenge and delivers with some august pickings with resplendent uses.

• Why Does the Thunder Hide The Rain - The Next 45 Years

I love personal development posts that come from deep within people. Alex’s post had me from hello with the quote from Socrates - but it went much further to talk about his relationship with his mother. Great honesty and sincerity in this one - thanks for sharing, Alex, and I hope you find peace through breaking the cycle.

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I’m going on a limb here (again) and releasing the Weekly Productivity Planner (234) in its draft form.

Part of the reason I’ve been delaying the release of this aid is because the weekly planner is so important. Planning by weeks is just so much more effective because it allows you to capture both the big picture (what you need to do) and combine it with the little picture (the how and when you’ll do what you need to do.)

That said, a lot remained the same but was upgraded from the task level to the project level. The Projects in Focus block and Heatmap Block are the first places to start, for they just capture what you need to do and when you work well.

The Weekly Productivity Sorter functions in the same way as the productivity sorter from the Daily Productivity Planner. It’s meant to be the hub of the week - I’m torn between placing it at the top or leaving it where it is.

What I need the most feedback on is the duplication of the days of the week. The first instance of the days of the week are meant to be the more global list of things you need to do for that day. I didn’t want to derail the brainstorming and listing process by making the user decide when to do those projects at the same time they’re trying to figure out what they need to do.

This aid fits nicely with the Daily Productivity Planner (424), and should make the daily planning go by much smoother and make the system more cohesive.

Let me know what you think, and I’ll do some more work on it Thursday. I will be completely offline tomorrow, as my lovely wife and I are celebrating our five year anniversary. Yes, folks, I’ve somehow managed to convince her that I’m not that bad after all and may be worth keeping around.

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Even though I was unable to post this or last Friday’s meditation, it’s still a goal of mine to write something that steps away from the standard topics on Productive Flourishing and instead just gives something to think about. For this week, it’s not a meditation, but instead an applied philosophical problem.

Before you run away thinking “Oh No! Charlie’s hitting us over the head with philosophy again!,” rest assured that we’ll not be talking about whether color exists in the universe or some such thing. The problem we’ll be talking about is the Problem of Dirty Hands and how it relates to personal development.

In short, the Problem of Dirty Hands is a recognition that sometimes, to do something good, you have to get your hands (morally) dirty. It’s often applied to the political spectrum, because the part of the art of politics is promoting positions you don’t agree with so that your other agendas can be pushed forward.

But we’re not talking about politics. What I’m talking about is our involvement in social organizations. What has prompted this for me personally is that the Boy Scouts of America have contacted me several times wanting me to take part in their national Eagle Scout registry.

I’ll not get into all of the details of Scouting, but needless to say, being an Eagle Scout is a great honor and is the highest rank that a Scout can achieve. I used to be proud of the fact that I’m an Eagle Scout - that is, until I found out that the Boy Scouts of America have an exclusive policy towards people of alternative sexual orientations, agnostics, and atheists. There are four categories of people that can be denied registration from the Boy Scouts of America, and the fourth type (the other three are previously listed) are felons. Felons, agnostics, atheists, and the GLBTQ community - what a motley crew!

(For more information, visit Scouting For All’s webpage. Also keep in mind that my main contention is not whether the BSA should have the right to exclude whoever they wish, but whether I should take part in such an organization.)

The problem is that I am the person that I am due in large part to the wonderful men and women of the Boy Scouts and the experiences that I’ve had through that community. I also think that I could and should give back and help mold the next generation of Scouts. If you’ve been reading this blog for a bit, you also know that groups can be very effective agents for personal development. Being involved in groups of people committed to excellence helps you excel.

But I’m very uncomfortable being part of an organization that I feel is bigoted and shameful. Sure, individual and regional organizations may have defied the National Council and produced their own inclusive policies, at risk of being banned and censured, but the root point for me is that, officially, the organization has a bigoted and shameful policy that I don’t want to be a part of.

I’ve hitherto decided that it’s not worth getting my hands dirty - my moral cleanliness is more important to me than the potential good I might do. But some of the stuff I’ve been working on for my dissertation is starting to make me feel less secure in that position. To make the point clearer, I’ll give some perspectives for thought:

• “The Keep Your Hands Clean” Perspective:

What’s important is that you choose your conduct based off of what you think is right or wrong. It may be unfortunate that there could more good advanced in the world by you choosing an alternative action, but choosing a bad means for a good end is never justified.

• “The Get Your Hands Dirty” Perspective:

What’s important is that you choose your conduct based off of what produces the most good. If you can make the world better, and don’t do it, you are at least minimally morally responsible for the world being less well off than it otherwise could have been. Whether you get your hands dirty to pursue a good end or not do something that would create a better situation, your hands are still dirty.

• “The Get Your Hands Dirty But Clean Up the Work” Perspective

nother option is to stay within the organization whilst trying to change it. This perspective acknowledges the obligation to help while not accepting the undesirable features, but I still have to wonder whether, by promoting the organization (via participation in the organization’s projects, etc.), I am also promoting the organization’s policies.

Of course, there are other alternatives, such as finding other organizations that pursue similar ends without having the undesired exclusivity, but the question is whether those organizations are as effective as the Boy Scouts of America due to its cultural entrenchment.

That’s my specific problem, but it’s obviously just a species of a general problem. People from certain religious communities have a similar problem: is it worth remaining part of a church that begins to take on exclusivist and bigoted policies, even though those organizations at the same time promote otherwise noble social ends? Is it better to remain clean or to promote the social good, when they are mutually exclusive?

People in activist organizations are also in the same boat. I personally don’t agree with all of the policies of the NAACP, NOW, or the Sierra Club - but, then again, I think there’s a qualitative difference between not agreeing with the NAACP’s stance on affirmative action and disagreeing with the BSA’s policies that categorically devalue certain types of people on indefensible grounds.

Helping others and promoting social goods in the world is both intrinsically good and good for personal development since we become better people by actively doing things that make us better. And the best way, often times, to help other people and promote social goods is through collective activity, but sometimes being involved in those collectives make us dirty.

No answers here…just food for thought. What do you think?

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Photo Credit: Photos By Rose

We share something very unique with elephants. Elephants, though they’re one of the strongest animals on the planets, can be constrained with the smallest sticks and ropes.

In Southeast Asia, elephants are still used as a mode of transportation. Tourist are often amazed at the fact that the elephant handlers use small ropes tied to the ground with tiny sticks to keep an elephant in place.

The reason this works is because the handlers tie the elephants to huge trunks with large ropes when they are young. The young elephants pull and tug and fight until they tire out, and they soon learn that they cannot move when tied up.

The handlers then use increasingly smaller ropes and sticks, but the elephants never tug at them. They’ve learned that they simply cannot move when tied up.

Imagine, one of the strongest animals in the world, constrained by something that the smallest child could break free of.

But, really, how much better are we? Many people live their lives being afraid to try something because they’ve been convinced that it’s too hard, or because they’ve tried a few times and it didn’t work out for them.

Take music, for example. I know a lot of people who would like to learn how to play an instrument but are convinced that only musicians or people who are innately good can play music, with the end result that they never try…despite the fact that everyone learns how to play music (meaning that it’s a teachable skill).

I used to think I wasn’t creative because my older brother is much more natural of an artist than I am. He was gaining a lot of acclaim as a teenager for his drawing skills (and he’s a good musician, to boot), and at the time I couldn’t draw (or play) anything like he could. I “learned” that creativity was something some people (my brother) had and others (me) didn’t.

What happened that changed my outlook? I taught myself how to play guitar. Granted, I started when I was nineteen, so I may never be phenomenal, but I do pretty well. On some of my last visits home, I was able to hold my own with my brother.

Furthermore, although I still haven’t learned how to draw people and landscapes, I can sit down and illustrate designs and ideas by hand. Turns out that I am creative, just not in a way that I counted as creative when I was younger.

In other words, I’ve learned that small ropes and sticks can’t constrain the elephant within me.

Think about the limitations you’ve set for yourself or that’s been set for you by others. Tug at the rope a little.

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Photo Credit: artct45

I’m going to jump on the meme suggested by Chris Brogan and take it one step further. I’m an active commenter, but I haven’t done as many link travologues as I’d like to, so I’ll make up some ground today.

• 8 Ways to Be Ruthless With Your Time - Lifehack

Thursday Bram, who I have no reason to suspect is otherwise ruthless, gives sound tips for getting your time back.

• Mama’s Girls - SHE-POWER

Another installation of the fiction series that Kelly is running. She’s great at giving you enough information for the story to evolve while having that same bit of information prompt more questions. Her non-fictions is just as good.

• Madonna and Freelancing: An “Ah-Ha” Marketing Moment - Quiet Rebel Writer

Amy deftly moves from a mini-rant on the “madonna versus whore dichotomy” to “you’re either valued and attractive, or you’re not (as a freelancer).” It’s not what Amy says, but how she says it, that has me return to her blog everyday.

• Is Alltop.com Jumping The Shark Already? - MonkMojo’s 1000 Cuts

MonkMojo and I go back a long ways, and I’m really proud that he, too, has been added to Alltop. Have I mentioned how much I love Alltop? Great job, MonkMojo - and keep the infotainment going!

• Awaken Your Inner Storyteller, Part 1 - Writing Power

Loren’s series on storytelling was really helpful and timely, as I was then considering how to spruce up my narratives. Pretty soon, I’ll have to start paying her tuition for the lessons she continually gives.

• Why You Should Roll Your Own Time Management System - LifeDev

Francis discusses something near and dear to my heart: Time Management Systems. It’s time to start rolling your own systems, and we’re here to help.

• Important vs. Urgent: 5 Ways to Focus on What Really Matters - PickTheBrain

Jonathan Mead’s at it again on Pick the Brain. Detangling the urgent from the important is hard to do, and Jonathan’s post delivers ways to split the two. Great work, as usual, Jonathan!

• On Eating Contexts for Breakfast and The Price of Radical Growth - The Growing Life

Clay Collins, my more talented alter-ego, really reached down to my core with this post, as I’ve been experiencing a lot of tension from radical growth here recently. The follow-up discussion is amazing, as well.

• The Small Business Happiness Scale: Where Are You? - IttyBiz

Jamie takes the reins (or better yet, is gracefully given them) from Naomi over at IttyBiz and writes a great post about adjusting one’s happiness scale when you’re running a small business.

• Keep a Journal to Solve Tough Problems - Scott H Young

I’m a big fan of journaling and writing to get myself out of complex problems. Scott Young has written a great post on how to do this.

• The Art of Not Finishing - David Seah

David Seah writes some of the best posts on productivity that can be found on the blogosphere, all mostly by accident and through honest introspection. His recent goodness starts with

The road to productivity is paved with clear steps leading to an act of completion; essentialy, it’s finish what you start. However, as I sit here contemplating the rather large list of difficult-to-break-down tasks I’ve given myself, I’m thinking that there might be another approach. That is to relax and not worry about finishing. Or, perhaps, restart constantly.

It’s a longish post, but it’s one of those that I will no doubt read a few times, peruse some of his other posts, and come back and read it again. Yes…I’m still his young Padawan.

On other notes, the Weekly Productivity Planner is taking shape! It will be out by Friday - unless I get bogged down in student papers for longer than I think I will. Stay tuned!

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In A Special Theory of Productivity I mentioned that I that I didn’t think RescueTime worked as a time management solution. That’s too broad and unhelpful of a statement, so I’ll spend some time reviewing RescueTime so you can see how I came to that conclusion.

What is RescueTime supposed to do?

I’ll give two explanations, one from the company site, and one from Tony Wright, co-founder of RescueTime. The company site says:

RescueTime is a web-based time-management tool that allows you to easily understand how you spend your time. One of the coolest things about RescueTime is that there is NO DATA ENTRY. You install a doohicky on your computer and we magically track all of your time usage.

Tony Wright says:

Right now, we’re (RescueTime) the time management equivalent of a cholesterol test– we can tell you you’re not quite healthy and we can let you know when you’re making progress… But we don’t have a ton to offer to get you fixed up!

(Tony: thanks for visiting and leaving the comment - I intend this to be an extended reply to you. Sorry for the delay.)

The program that is installed on your computer monitors the programs you use and updates those with an online server. You go in on your user Dashboard and tag the programs with the type of activity that you do with the reported programs. After you tag them, you’re done - from that point forward, RescueTime associates that program with that activity.

The webpages you visit are handled much the same way. For instance, if you visit this blog, you may tag it as “blog reading” and “personal development.” For the rest of the time that you run RescueTime, it’ll log time spent on this site as blog reading and personal development. I have to say…that’s pretty nifty.

So, what happens to all that information? It is compiled and beautiful graphs are outputted that shows where you’ve been spending your time (much like the one the used above-update: I tried to embed a chart from my dashboard but I kept getting 404’s from RescueTime. Will try to get that fixed, as the chart is informative). Other nifty reporting features include the ability to assign point values to activities - i.e. writing, as an academic and as a blogger, is probably the most valuable thing I do, and internet surfing one of the least valuable - so that you have beautiful charts that show you how productive you are based on the value of the activities you’ve been doing. RescueTime will also alert you when you have met goals that you have set - so, if you want to spend two hours writing a day, it will let you know via email, SMS, or RSS.

All of these features are easy to set up and work as stated. The last and probably most compelling feature of RescueTime is that it’s free! Yes, all of this time tracking and reporting goodness for free.

In conclusion, RescueTime is a free, easy to use time management system that displays beautiful reports of your activities that allow you to quickly evaluate your productivity. It simply provides the best looking graphs and charts that I have seen from any product in this niche.

So, what’s not to like about RescueTime?

You may be thinking that something’s gone awry, since I’ve both praised RescueTime and said that I don’t think it works as a time management solution. My main critique about RescueTime is regarding its usefulness and cohesiveness.

Before I begin to evaluate it, remember the framework that I’m using to do so. The functions of Time Management Systems are to help you Plan, Execute, and Evaluate your work, and the principles that make these systems better are Simplicity, Usefulness, Aesthetics, Connectedness, and Cohesiveness. (If none of this makes sense to you, read A Special Theory of Productivity for more information.)

I’ve already commented that RescueTime is simple and aesthetically very pleasing. Good work on that front, guys. But I do have some major concerns about the program…

One Tag to Rule Them All

My major concern is how useful RescueTime is. It’s often the case that there is some tension between simplicity and usefulness, and RescueTime is a brilliant case in point. A real world example is in order.

I write almost everything in Textmate. When I visit another blog and start writing a longish comment, I pop open Textmate, do the writing, and then copy back to the site. When I’m drafting blog posts, I do it in Textmate. I’m even drafting my academic papers in Textmate. That amounts to a lot of writing, and RescueTime has perfectly tracked that.

But it has tracked it as “writing.” The problem: not everything I write has the same productivity value. My academic writing has far more weight than my blog writing, though my actual habits may prove otherwise. Furthermore, RescueTime doesn’t track what I was writing, so to figure that out, I’d have to refer to some other Time Management System, which hurts it on the cohesiveness front.

I may be anal, but it’s useful to know what days and times I was working on certain projects. Knowing that helps me see trends and helps me plan future tasks. As it stands, RescueTime outputs beautiful graphs and charts that, while interesting, aren’t useful. Using RescueTime, then, is adding another layer to all of the other Time Management Systems that I currently employ…all for beautiful charts and graphs.

The Textmate example is just one of many that have the same feature. I read the same sites often times for different reasons. For example, sometimes I read Lifehack just to see what Dustin Wax is baiting me with. (Okay, he doesn’t even know I exist, but he baits me anyways.) Other times, I’m reading the site to see whether they’ve written about something I’m writing about. One of the activities involves just blog reading, whereas the other is research. Other site activities include networking and marketing.

Unfortunately, RescueTime sticks with the original way I’ve tagged it. You can go back and change your tags, but then it will stick with those tags. It can’t see the difference between reading, research, networking, and marketing. But there are very important differences between those activities that are directly related to productivity.

Of course, one option would be to use different programs for different functions. I don’t have the tagging problem with Mellel, for I only use it to polish academic papers. So, I could conceivable split tasks, but why trade using one tool (Textmate) that helps with my productivity just so I can track what I’m doing?

The Care and Feeding Of RescueTime

Directly related to the tagging problem is the fact that I’m a linkhopper. When I read blog posts, I jump to people’s blogs when they leave good comments (I’ve found some of my best blog buddies that way.) That means that when I go to my RescueTime dashboard, I have to tag all of those new sites. If you do it often enough, it’s pretty easy to do and only takes five or ten minutes. Forget to update your Dashboard, though, and you end up with a few scores of sites to tag, which takes considerably longer and is not really that accurate, since I often can’t remember what I was doing there.

I also test out a lot of different software for both personal and blogging interests. So that gives me yet another bunch of applications to tag, which leads to more productivity seepage as I’m trying to figure out what I was doing.

What I’ve found is that my options using RescueTime is either to spend 10-15 minute a day of productivity overhead tagging what I’m doing or to have a high amount of untagged activities. But, for the program to be remotely useful, you have to tag what you’re doing.

What about Off-Computer Tasks and Projects?

Another major concern I have is that RescueTime can’t (without third party solutions that marginally help) track off-computer work. Phone calls, meetings, book research, yard work, errands, etc. all are things that are productive and could bear some tracking. Unfortunately, there’s no way to get them into RescueTime’s system, so to track your real productivity, you’d have to use RescueTime plus some other solution. To be fair, the creators of RescueTime don’t claim that it can do this, so it’s not as if they’re being misleading - it is, nonetheless, a critical component of our productivity that RescueTime does not help with.

Summary Evaluation

1. Does RescueTime help you plan how to use your time?

To a very small degree, yes. I say that because if you find that how you think you’re using your time and how you’re actually using your time is quite different, you can use RescueTime to help you adjust your time. Presuming you can discern different activities by tagging them properly, which I’ve yet to really manage to do.

2. Does RescueTime help you execute your tasks?

Only to the degree that your planning subverts unproductive habits. Also note that the care and feeding of RescueTime may not be a good return on investment of time.

3. Does RescueTime help you evaluate what you’ve been doing and provide useful information for future planning and execution?

Not by itself. The system would require you to have some other system that’s tracking the tasks and projects that you’re doing in order for its information to be really useful. If you have that other system, and you’re able to sync the information that it and RescueTime are producing, RescueTime may prove to be useful as a reporting tool.

4. What is RescueTime intended to replace?

This is not really part of the framework I listed in A Special Theory of Productivity, but I take it that RescueTime is intended to replace the manual input of time a la Freshbooks. It’s a pain in the ass filling in time sheets and keeping track of where you spend your time as you’re doing it, and having a system that does this without data entry would be incredibly helpful. However, as I’ve stated above, you’re going have to track your projects and tasks some way or the other, so the only point I see of RescueTime on this front is as a reality check. But that reality check would have to extrapolate what you’re doing (i.e. tasks and projects) from how you’re doing it (i.e. the sites and applications you use).

The Way Ahead For RescueTime

I hate when people just critique a product without making suggestions. Complaining is easy…providing solutions is far harder and much more useful. RescueTime is a work in progress, and they are adding new features to it monthly. Here are some things I think would make the program better - there will be some redundancy here since my critique has already listed what I don’t like about RescueTime. (I’m shooting myself in the foot here, as some of these are what I’d do if I were currently building software, and if Tony takes the suggestions to heart and implements them, I will then be fighting him for patent uses once I generate enough revenue to get those projects going. Ah well - maybe he’ll be nice if that becomes an issue.)

1. Implement a Tagging Filter

I couldn’t think of a really catchy way to say this one. Right now, RescueTime uses the applications and sites that the user visits or uses as the filter to determine what that user was doing. Rather than doing it that way, you could allow the user to specify times that the user was doing a certain tasks.

So, for example, I could allocate the block from 0600-0900 as “Working on RescueTime Evaluation.” All of the different sites and applications that were used during that time block then provide the information of how I accomplished that task. As a project manager, I could then see that, while my employee claimed they were working on Project X, they were actually on MySpace.

I could then tag that task with different metatags that indicate what area of work it fell under. The above task would fall under Blogging, and all of the subtasks indicate the different actions required to sustain that metaproject.

2. Implement an Alert for Untagged Activities

It may be helpful to alert the user that they have a certain number (say, 10) of untagged activities that need to be tagged. That way the user can work natively without the thought of “man, I need to remember what this is and go tag it.” Perhaps a report could be emailed saying “between X and Y times you were using these untagged applications and visiting these untagged sites. What were you doing?”

3. Implement an Off-Computer Applet

This one should be fairly easy given that there are already some third party applications that allow you to have up to three offline activities. Using the ideas from the solution above would make this pretty seamless.

Different and More Positive Perspectives on RescueTime

James from Men with Pens writes:

The beauty of Rescue Time is that with least effort on my part, I have a beautiful graph of my work habits – and within minutes of installation, if I feel like it. I’ll be able to see exactly where my time goes (and not where I think it goes) and I’ll see precisely how much of my time I spend on individual tasks.

If you’re into productivity, then you can’t go wrong with Rescue Time. It’s a damned nifty lifesaver… or should I say timesaver?

T.W. Garrett from TheTechBrief says:

RescueTime is set to offer a time management goal tool and the option for comparison against others in your industry for those who are serious about increasing their efficiency and finally getting a handle on their technology-driven life. I give RescueTime and A+ and I look forward to the full product release.

Scott from WebWorkerDaily says:

RescueTime is great for examining my overall productivity and helping me make sure that I am putting the proper amount of time into those areas that require my attention. I use it for big picture analysis but the tools for more detailed examinations are certainly present.

I thought it would be good to add their perspectives, since they’re a bit more positive in their reviews than I am.

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The situation: you find yourself in a funk. I’m not talking about the Pepe’ Le Pew kind of funk - that just requires the generous application of soap and water. The kind of funk I’m talking about is where you’re almost inexplicably sad, slightly depressed, or down about something.

This happens to almost everyone every once in awhile. The goal here is not to figure out how to prevent getting in a funk, but rather to short-circuit the funk when it happens. This is why getting enough sleep is not on the list, because that’s not helpful when you’ve already deprived yourself of sleep.

Note also that I’m not talking about chronic depression. Though the suggestions below will help, coping with and recovering from chronic depression takes far more work and may require some radical changes to your lifestyle.

I have a checklist that I start going down when I recognize that I’m in a funk. It starts with the recognition that the easiest way to short-circuit a funk is to work on the physiological level first and then work to the emotional, social, and mental levels later- yes, this is the same Aristotelian schema that I discussed here. It takes its cues from cognitive therapy, which trains patients to become aware of negative thoughts and immediately take action to subvert those thoughts. Continue reading →